When Baby Bean is born, I will be using 2 years worth of saved up vacation and sick leave as my maternity leave. All of this will total 6 weeks. Our inital plan was to have me work from home part-time for the next 6 weeks so I could be home and around the Babe for a full 3 months. Last week MC and I decided that there was no way we could afford to pull off the latter part of the plan. Since we decided this, I have been in a really trying place mentally. I absolutely cannot deal with the idea of leaving my 6-week old with anyone...even the most capable of hands. He's my baby, he's my little buddy. We've been a unit for almost 10 months now. He kickes me, makes me puke, pee my pants, gives my heartburn, we listen to tunes together, make food choices together, we do everything together. How can I feel OK not having him around? I feel as though I am going to miss so much. The little smiles when he wakes up from his nap, when he first rolls over, when he first sits up, when he starts to scoot about...the list goes on. I'm in tears just thinking about it.
I feel so discouraged. I know there are worse things out there. I know some people deal with tougher situations. MC tells me to look at the brightside of things, still, I cannot find any peace in the thought of leaving him for 40 hours a week.
I'm heartbroken. Any Momma's out there have advice for this super-sad first timer?
